A Friendship Gate

When we lived in Beverly, MA, after we had gotten moved-in and settled, we discovered some hidden things about the outside of our home, such as the time we cleared back weeds and overgrowth to discover a brick pathway from the rear porch to the side of the house, or the time Vickie discovered the friendship gate.

Wherever we have lived Vickie has planted. I guess you could say that she’s been trying to undo what Eve did, reversing the curse in creation. Often to plant you must first weed and prune and amend the soil. So it was in Beverly. There was a chain link fence that separated the rear of our yard from that of our neighbor – however, the fence was overgrown with weeds when we arrived. As Vickie applied her gardening vision to the fence area, along with her gardening passion and labor, removing weeds, clearing the land to plant, she discovered a gate in the fence – a gate indiscernible due to the weeds covering it. Soon the area was cleared and Vickie worked her gardening magic, as she did around the entire yard – whether we’ve lived in small spaces or large, Vickie has done her best to restore the Garden of Eden.

One day Vickie was talking with the lady who lived behind us and as she complimented Vickie on the transformation of our yard she mentioned the gate. She told Vickie that the gate was there because she had been good friends with the people who had once lived in our rented home (these folks were deceased and we rented from their son) and the gate had been installed so that they could visit back and forth, from home to home – the gate was a friendship gate.

Fences are one thing, gates are another. We can talk over fences but we can’t walk through them. We can’t easily share a meal over fences. We can’t easily embrace over fences. Fences do not allow the free passage of people, of bodies, of hearts, minds, and souls. Fences ensure we keep our distance; no matter how close we may be, a fence ensures there will always be distance, barrier, division. Fences mean that I can never come to your home nor you to mine.

But a friendship gate…that is an invitation. Some gates have locks, but not a friendship gate. This gate with no lock is a gate of trust, a gate of vulnerability.

Do we have friendship gates?