“You are joint
heirs of the grace of life” (1 Peter 3:7).
Peter writes
that husbands ought to honor their wives, with whom they are joint heirs of the
grace of life, “so that your prayers may not be hindered.” There is an
alternate reading in the TR for “hindered” which can mean, “cut off” or “cut
down” (such as “if your hand offends you, cut it off”) and I find this
interesting, for even if our current best manuscripts heavily support the idea
of prayers being “hindered,” at some point there were copyists who conveyed the
violent image of a husband and wife’s prayers being cutoff or cutdown. Both
senses ought to get our attention (the two words are closely related in Greek).
1 Peter 3:7 is a
picture of Christ and the Church, just as is Ephesians 5:22 – 33 (and just as
is Proverbs 31:10 – 31). We are joint heirs with Christ (Rom. 8:17, 32; Gal.
4:7; Rev. 21:7) and this is particularly true of us as His Bride – for there is
a “unity of person” in marriage…the two become one. This idea of “unity of
person” was embedded in English common law and was recognized, at least until
recently, in many state laws in the United States. As a real estate broker in
Maryland and Virginia this was a critical legal concept when transferring title
to real estate, husbands and wives took title as “tenants by the entirety,"
they took title as “one person.”
The Bride
becomes one with the Groom in Scripture, this is our calling in Jesus Christ,
our destiny is the Marriage Supper of the Lamb and a glorious unfolding of His
love for us in eternity.
Our marriages in
Christ are to participate in this glory, in this sacramental union. So much so
that husbands and wives receive the grace of God as joint heirs – as one person
in Christ. So much so that should there be a breach in the marriage, in
communion, in mutually caring for one another, in mutual deference and
submission (Eph. 5:21), in forgiveness and forbearance and patience; that the
prayers of the spouses will be hindered and possibly cutoff, chopped down, castoff.
While all
marriages have their particular DNA, if you will, in Christ they have His DNA…whatever
else they may bring into the marriage. One of the questions married couples can
always ask is, “Where is the Lordship of Jesus in this?”
I once asked
this question, and only this question, of a couple in a crisis marital situation;
they were on the precipice of separating. Our Father gave me a sense that I
should do this since they were professing Christians. When they left our home
after about two hours, they still had work to do in Jesus, but the threat was
over and the direction was sure. No matter what one said about the other, no
matter what issue they wanted to bring before me, I kept asking, “Where is the
Lordship of Jesus Christ in this?”
Many years ago
my friend Steve Allsbrook shared the following poem with me, saying, “When I
read this I thought of you and Vickie.”
The poem has
become more precious over the years, as has my wife, as has our marriage, as
has our dear Lord Jesus.
The
Word
By John Masefield
My friend,
my bonny friend, when we are old,
And hand
in hand go tottering down the hill,
May we be
rich in love's refined gold,
May love's
gold coin be current with us still.
May love
be sweeter for the vanished days,
And your
most perfect beauty still as dear
As when
your troubled finger stood at gaze
In the
dear March of a most sacred year.
May what
we are be all we might have been,
And that
potential, perfect, oh my friend,
And may
there still be many sheafs to glean
In our
love's acre, comrade, till the end.
And may we
find, when ended is the page
Death but
a tavern on our pilgrimage.