Enigmatic Faith

 

Good morning dear ones,

 

Below is a note I wrote to a friend recently, perhaps there is something here for you.

 

Much love,

 

Bob

 

Good morning Friend,

 

I am reminded of the father who cried to Jesus, “Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!” I have cried this many times and imagine I will do so many more times. What else can we do?

 

Faith is enigmatic, at least to me. A labyrinth? If we see the labyrinth in Jesus this is not so bad, for even our apparent dead ends are designed to transform us into His image.

 

Is He not our Good Shepherd? Can we not trust Him? Is this life not a pilgrimage and prelude to our glorious destiny?

 

Is not He, our dear Lord Jesus who gave His all for us, what matters? Then others? Lastly ourselves?

 

Could it be that you are already where you desire to be?

 

I have no doubt that you are in our Father’s House, for only those in His House and Family have the desires, the doubts, the regrets, and despair that you have.

 

As I said, faith is enigmatic. What can we do but allow the very faith of Jesus Christ to live within us and through us? He is the Vine and we are the branches and as His life flows through us, so His very own faith flows through us. This is why when I read Galatians 2:20 I read it as the dear KJV translators have it, “by the faith of the Son of God.”

 

As Jesus lives by the Father, so we live by Jesus…yes?

 

O dear friend, I have many regrets in my life…so very many. Sometimes I look back and think, “How could this be? How could you have done this, thought this, said this?” Then I am consumed by guilt and shame and remorse. It seems the closer I get to eternity the more I see these things. What to do? What can I do but trust Jesus?

 

And isn’t that what this all comes down to, trusting Jesus? Trusting Jesus no matter how I feel, or how I perform, or how deeply (or not) I understand a matter?

 

When I draw my final breath in this life, what can I do other than trust Jesus?

 

As I have said before, on my best days my Father needs to change my nappy; may God never let me lose sight of this truth.

 

One of the reasons I so look forward to crossing that river between this life and the next, is that my memory will be purged of toxicity, of poison, of regret and remorse, of things which I can’t bear to think of. I don’t say that this ought to be anyone else’s journey, I simply say to you that this is my journey.

 

Is my faith so weak that I cannot embrace the totality of God’s forgiveness, that I cannot bask in the cleansing of the blood of the Lamb? Again, this is enigmatic to me. Yes, I do bask in the blood of the Lamb, claim it, proclaim it, rejoice in it. But this is, for me, a journey, a process, a climb up Zion’s mountain – perhaps I need to train myself not to look back, not to look down. Ha!

 

I climb with a limp. I say to Jesus, “Lord, where else can I go? You have the words of eternal life.”

 

What some may see as my faith, I see as my desperation – for indeed, where else can I go? Where can anyone go?

 

When Jesus says that we can’t change our hair or height by thinking, He means it. We are so foolish, are we not; to think we are in control…so foolish to think we are in the driver’s seat. So foolish to think we can add a day, an hour, a moment to our lives.

 

So realizing that I must trust Him is, for me, less a matter of faith than a matter of simple reality – if this is faith, well and good, all I know is that this is the essence of life.

 

Tom ____ once said to me, “You have a simple faith.” He meant it as a compliment, and I’ll receive that testimony.

 

O dear friend, what matters to me is less about how I feel than whether others are coming to know Jesus. I have eternity ahead of me in which I will no doubt feel pretty good, but between now and then I need to follow Jesus and share Him with others. We are on a battlefield fighting for the souls of mankind, I don’t want my feelings to be a distraction…and I know they can be…they have in the past, they may be again…but I must live in the Cross of Christ and allow the Cross to live in and through me.

 

As Bonhoeffer wrote, “When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.”

 

I have a friend in Amelia County who is a flight instructor. He teaches his students to fly by instrumentation, not to look outside the cockpit. He has a hood that he places on students so that they cannot see outside the plane, all they can see is the instrument panel. If they fly by sight in bad weather they may die, suffering from spatial disorientation.

 

The students may not “feel” great as they learn to fly by instrumentation, but they and their passengers will live. Neither you nor I really want to be passengers on a plane with a pilot flying by his feelings.

 

I can be a very emotional person. I have a tambourine which I’ve played in many a worship gathering. I can shout, I can run down a church aisle (which I have, even in our Congregational church!), I have danced in worship gatherings…but I know that I must fly by instrumentation…for the fair weather can quicky change…and for the glory of God and the salvation of others I must keep my eyes on Jesus, always on Jesus.

 

We can’t go back, at least I don’t think so. O I suppose we can go back in terms of obedience (but even there I’m not sure, hopefully we are wiser and more faithful), but in terms of feelings…well…we do change don’t we? We age, we mature, we bruise, we break bones, we have our hips knocked out of joint…we are no longer children, we are no longer young, we are no longer middle aged.

 

Yet, this can be the sweetest time of life in many ways, not the least of which is sharing the grace of our Lord Jesus with others…and living in anticipation of that great Day which is nearer to us today than it was yesterday…we are ever closer to that City whose Builder and Maker is God.

 

What shall we say to these things?

 

If God is for us, who can be against us?

 

Much love dear friend,

 

Bob

Waiting in Silence (2)

 

Let’s follow up the meditation on waiting on God with silence with some thoughts on meeting our Lord Jesus and our Father each morning.

 

We can have assurance that our God wants to meet with us, speak with us, reveal Himself to us, and that He will listen to us; our God is our Friend and His heart yearns for intimate relationship with us, His daughters and His sons.  The question is not, “Will God come to meet me?” It is, “How will He come? How will He reveal Himself to me?”

 

Our God “is a rewarder of those who seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6). If we draw near to God, He will draw near to us (James 4:8). Jesus promises us that if we ask we will receive, if we seek we will find, and that if we knock that it will be opened for us (Matthew 7:7 – 11). Our Father loves us to come to Him, to seek Him, to ask, to get to know Him – after all, we are His children – and don’t let anyone tell you any different.

 

As we learn to begin our days with Him, we will learn to spend our days with Him.

 

When I speak of waiting on God in silence I mean two things; the first is that there is no outside noise, the second is that we wait to hear from Him and that we do not do all the talking. No outside noise means primarily electronic noise, it includes screens – it is time to mute your phone or put it on airplane mode – keep it away from you. Our eyes, our ears, our minds, our hearts, our total selves are to be waiting on God.

 

The second element of silence is that we quiet ourselves and focus on the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. We settle our souls down into silence – but please note – silence does not mean nothingness! We do not empty our minds, we do not empty ourselves, we do not seek thoughtlessness – we seek the True and the Living God.

 

We do not wait for “nothing,” we wait for the LORD, we expect His arrival, we anticipate Him, we look forward to seeing Him, to hearing Him, to being touched by Him, to touching Him, to sensing Him.

 

Since God comes to us in and through His Word, since God comes to us as His Word, we know that we will meet with God as we enter His Word and as His Word enters us. With this assurance we can choose a Bible passage, read it out loud, ponder it, pray it, linger in it, read it out loud again – all the time waiting and watching and sensing the moving of the Holy Spirit.

 

Some mornings will be different than others, but they will build upon each other, weaving a tapestry of communion and friendship with the Holy Trinity and the saints. We may not discern the Divine patterns God is producing within us, but they will be there – some may be straightforward, many will be intricate, all will take a lifetime.

 

As we partake of the Bible in Christ Jesus, we partake of the Divine Nature (2 Peter 1:4).

 

You might want to keep two writing pads or notebooks with you as you commune with God in the morning. One is to jot down reminders, such as “take out the trash,” or “call the dentist” When thoughts such as these intrude, rather than trying to remember them, if we write them down then we can continue to focus on Christ and His Word.

 

The other pad or notebook is to journal what you sense the Holy Spirit saying to you. Some mornings you may only write a line or two. Other mornings you may record a paragraph or more. Still other mornings you may not write anything down, this does not mean you haven’t been in His Presence, it just means nothing struck you as something to be recorded for you to look back on. Of course, you may decide to jot at least one thought every morning, perhaps a word or two related to the passage you’re reading, this may be important to some of us, while others may not be inclined to do so.

 

Meeting God in silence and intimacy is not to be found in technique, it is to be found in relationship with Him in His Word, and flowing out from His Word this relationship will be found in all of life, including in Creation and in our neighbors and in His People, the Church, the Body of Christ.

 

Techniques can be training wheels on the bicycle when we are getting started, but at some point we need to ride without them. This is not to say that we don’t maintain certain patterns of prayer, communion, meditation, and reading the Word on this pilgrimage; it does not mean that we don’t adjust or change our patterns, but it does mean that we become adult sons and daughters of God and that we learn to commune with God as His friends, as those who love to be with Hiim even as He loves to be with us.

 

If this new to you, you may want to take a passage such as Psalm 1 or Psalm 23 or Psalm 27 and ponder it every morning for seven days, allow it to be your entrance into waiting on God in silence, into listening for Him, into conversing with Him. Or you may want to take an extended passage such as the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew chapters 5 – 7) or the Upper Room Discourse (John chapters 13 – 17) and remain in that passage for a month or two or even three.

 

If it is a short passage, such as one of the above psalms, I suggest reading the entire psalm out loud at first, and then in silence reflecting on what you’ve read while asking God to speak to you, to come to you through His Word. So you might read all of Psalm 1 out loud, then go back and ponder the first verse, followed by silence as you wait; then ponder the second verse, followed by silence as you wait – always listening for the impressions and insights of the Holy Spirit, always expecting to see Jesus, always anticipating the warm love of your Father touching you. And, of course, don’t hesitate to journal, even if it is a word or two to get you started.

 

Our minds are not empty as we wait for God in silence, they are being filled with God’s Word, with His image, with His distinct voice in Jesus Christ.

 

If you choose an extended passage, such as one of the above in Matthew and John, then you might read a section of the passage out loud and then go back and employ the basic pattern I outlined for a short or medium length psalm. For example, if I am pondering the Sermon on the Mount in the morning, I might begin the first morning by reading Matthew 5 out loud and then go back in meditate on verses 3 – 12, the Beatitudes. I might remain in the Beatitudes for a few days before moving into verses 13 – 20; I am not in a hurry, this is not a race, I am not in a car seeing how many miles I can drive in a day. I am in the Bible to meet God, to know Him, to grow into His holy image in Jesus Christ.

 

Bible study has its place, but this is not the place for Bible study, this is the place for you and God; this is the place for a relationship so intimate that you will find that some things cannot be put into words. This is the Burning Bush.

 

Please, please, please, do not use a study Bible during these times, please don’t do it. It is fine to use a Bible with cross references, but it is not okay to use a study Bible when we are waiting on God in silence. If you use a study Bible your eyes will stray to the notes and those notes will influence your thoughts and lead you into tangents. There is one mediator between God and man, and it ain’t a study Bible. If you have a question about historical context, or about the way a certain word is used, or about a subject – write it down in your notebook so you can go back and follow up.

 

I realize most people don’t “get this,” but I have seen the damage we allow study Bibles to do over decades, while they may have their place, and I use the word “may,” whatever that place may be is not during our early morning times of intimacy with God.

 

Well, just wanted to share some thoughts. God loves you so deeply and He desires with all His heart for you to know Him intimately, I hope you know that.

 

He will meet us in His Word, yes He will.

Waiting in Silence

 

“My soul waits in silence for God only; from Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken” (Psalm 62:1 – 2).

 

“My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken” (Psalm 62:5 – 6).

 

Pascal said that the most difficult thing for a man to do is to be alone for an hour. A person without distraction will eventually ponder himself, and he may also consider God, His Father and Creator. Being alone is difficult because we do not want to consider ourselves critically, and we don’t really want to confront God, we don’t want to submit to Him.

 

Pascal also thought that the chief benefit a king has is that he is wealthy enough to have perpetual distractions. If you have perpetual distractions then you can avoid looking in the mirror critically and you can avoid thinking about God, you can avoid confronting God.

 

Of course, when the king dies his distractions will be over and he will pay attention to God for the king will have no choice. The same is true of presidents and generals and entertainment icons and the ultra-wealthy; it is true of us all. 

 

We are a people who consume distractions, and in consuming distractions we trade the image of God within us for poison in our souls. We invite the noise of the world, the flesh, and the devil into our heads and hearts and souls, rather than place ourselves before God in silence – and it all usually looks so good! Who wants to spoil the party?

 

In verse 1 the psalmist makes a statement, “My soul waits in silence for God only.”  In verse 5 he gives a command to his soul, “My soul, wait in silence for God only.”

 

There are times we need to have a good talk with ourselves. “Eye, don’t look at that! Hand, don’t do that! Ear, don’t listen to that! Soul, wait in silence for God and only God!”

 

“From Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken” (62:1b – 2).

 

“My hope is in Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken” (62:5b – 6).

 

The idea of salvation brings with it both deliverance from peril and being made whole. Our salvation is our way of life; our way of life indicates what we believe to be our salvation. What our souls feed upon is what we consider to be essential for its life, it is what we believe we can’t do without. What do our hearts and minds consume?

 

The psalmist is clear that God is his salvation, his rock, his hope, and his stronghold. A stronghold is that which can withstand assault and is a safe place. What is our stronghold? To what or to whom do we look for deliverance? Where do we place our hope?

 

Can any of the distractions around us help on that day when we draw our final breath? Can money or entertainment or corporate position or fame or physical appearance or education or pleasure (in whatever form it may be) or power? Can any of these things truly provide wholeness and safety and peace for us? Can any of them give us never-ending hope and security? Can any of them give satisfying and continuous fulness to our soul? Do we see the false promises in our frenzy of marketing, advertising, and wave after wave of political and economic movements?

 

Man became a living soul when God breathed into him – without the breath of God there is no life, there is only walking death, slumber in an opium den.

 

When we know that God is our only salvation, our only hope, our only stronghold – then we know the importance of silence before Him, of waiting on Him, of being centered and focused on Him; listening for Him, listening to Him, and then responding to Him in obedient love and faithfulness in Jesus Christ.

 

“I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child rests upon its mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me” (Psalm 131:2).

 

When we are weaned from the ways of the world system, from the “lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life” (1 John 2:16), then we will have come into the stronghold of God in Christ, then the house of our soul will have been founded upon a rock (Matthew 7:24 – 27).

 

Distractions suck the life from our souls; waiting on God in silence, receiving Christ, embracing Christ Jesus and being embraced by Him – in Him alone there is Life, Life today, Life tomorrow, Life forever.

 

“They that wait for the LORD will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint” (Isaiah 40:31).

 

Shall our souls wait in silence for God only…today?