More People Than I Can Thank...But I Can Try

 

I had a dream last night that Tim Winfrey and I were in an apartment association meeting in Richmond, VA. We were no longer active in the business, they didn’t expect to see us, and on reflection I imagine that they surely didn’t expect to see Tim because he has been in the Presence of Christ for a few years! Nevertheless they welcomed us and the leader of the meeting asked us to come up front and say a few words.

 

As Tim walked to the front and began speaking I jotted down a few notes on some scrap paper to guide me when my time came to speak.

 

When I started in the business, management was pretty much white, white from the community managers to upper executives, at least in the Baltimore – Washington area. I don’t recall seeing any people of color at industry meetings of executives. That has changed, to what degree I’m uncertain, but it has thankfully changed.

 

Also, when I began my career there were few women in upper management. Women were the community managers and many of them lived on-site, but few women managed portfolios. That has most certainly and thankfully changed.

 

Some things have probably not changed for the better, such as the institutionalization of the business, but this is true of business in general. Metrics have their place, but when they eliminate relationships and ethics and morality then we are well on the road to becoming zombies – but again, this is the world we live in; if we can call this “life.”

 

As I awoke from the dream I thought of dear Tim. Vickie and I had just been talking about Tim, about all the years we had known him. She was reminiscing about an industry event we attended in the early 1990s and about how much fun Tim had been that evening. Then, of course, I thought of his wife Shelly. Toward the end of my career, Tim, Shelly, and I worked together.

 

Then I thought of Letisa, and Ana, and Diane, and Debby, and Alethea, and Lucy and Tony, and Hilda, and Jim, and Robert, and Gloria, and Earl, and Joanne…and the faces and names came flooding into my heart, mind and soul. Well, actually, they didn’t flood into me because they were already in me. O how I thought of the joy and kindness Vickie and I have both experienced from these wonderful women and men over the years.

 

Of course you realize there is always a danger in naming names, for you are certain to leave someone out…but I’m not really leaving anyone out of my heart, I can just only write so many names at one time, names that span decades and joys and challenges and bright days and dark days and days of “getting it right” and days of “getting it O so wrong.” Days of providing (I hope) a good example, and then days I’d rather forget when I was a total ass, a complete and total ass.

 

I should do better at thanking people, at touching base with those still with us and thanking them - I won’t be here forever. I want them to know that they’ve made a difference in my life, a beautiful difference. They’ve been God’s gifts to Vickie and me, God’s gifts…ain’t that something?

 

Can you ever thank someone too much? Or tell them you love them too much?

 

What about you? Who are the people in your life you are thankful for?

Have you told them lately?

Just Showing Up

 

These past few weeks have been trying, a crucible, and a Holy of Holies. The season continues (though in a different “key”), and as it continues Vickie and I continue to trust our Lord Jesus. We have a friend who was once in a small plane crash, I remember him telling us that the adrenalin was such that he could see the propeller turning in slow motion, he was tracking the rotation of the individual blades. Many of us have had experiences when we’ve gone from black and white to Technicolor (to borrow an image from the Wizard of Oz).

 

I have never entered a hospital room knowing what I was going to say, not once. I have never gone into a hospital room, or visited an ill person at home, even thinking what I was going to say. I have, however, entered hospital rooms knowing the two things I wanted to do; be the Presence of Jesus and pray with people. Jesus, of course, was already in the room and I needed to pay attention to Him, to the sick person, and to any others who might be in the room.

 

Over the years, when being with people going through hardship, sickness, entering the portal of death, enduring suffering, I have learned that I can confidently speak to them of God’s love for them with every beat of His heart, and I can say to them, “Your heavenly Father and dear Lord Jesus want to reveal themselves to you through this, they want to show you how much they love you. I may not understand anything else, but I know they desire to walk with you through this and for you to know their Presence.”

 

If the person has not yet met Jesus, only God’s love can change that. If the person does indeed know Jesus, only God’s love can comfort them. For sure, this love must flow through us as well, we must be the incarnation of the Message.

 

I am not called to “fix things” in people, or to medicate their difficulties or participate in deadening their senses. I am called to point them to Jesus, always to Jesus…and so are you.

 

Now of course you realize that we self-medicate all the time. We revert to “positive thinking,” to “mindfulness,” to food, to media (television, streaming, social media), to any number of activities that keep us away from our Good Shepherd who wants to embrace us and carry us and draw us ever closer to Himself. Even things labeled “Christian” can distract us from looking Jesus in the eye and allowing Him to speak to us; let us not forget the lesson of Martha and Mary.

 

A passage that has held deep meaning for Vickie and me over the years is 2 Timothy 1:12:

 

“For this reason I also suffer these things, but I am not ashamed; for I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.”

 

Vickie and I actually believe this, our lives are built on this, and in the midst of uncertainty and fear and disorientation – Christ, as expressed in this verse, is our assurance. As Fanny Crosby wrote, “Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine, O what a foretaste of glory Divine!”

 

Yes, I was frightened when I thought I was losing Vickie in my arms. But remember, I was having three out loud conversations simultaneously; one with Vickie (trying to get her to respond), one with the wonderful 911 dispatcher, and one with Jesus.

 

It is okay to be frightened, it is okay to be tired, it is okay to be disoriented – because our dear Lord Jesus is with us and He will never leave us, never, never, never. We don’t need to fix things for ourselves or for one another; we do need to be there for one another. We don’t need to understand “why,” hopefully we will know His love and the love of others.

 

Let me put this another way. I recently had a conversation with a neighbor who was telling me about a difficult situation her family is facing. I asked her, “What do you sense Jesus saying to you through this?”

 

She replied, “He wants me to have more patience.”

 

As I pondered her response, which is pretty much a stock answer we may have all used at one time, it occurred to me that there may be something else for her to consider. Perhaps Jesus wants her to look at Him, to see His patience, to see how patient He is with her, to see His Presence in her life; so that she in turn can be transformed into His image and be His Presence in the situation her family is facing.

 

I will, the Lord willing, share this thought with her the next time I see her.

 

Do we “know whom we have believed”? If so, then we can be assured that He will keep us and we can assure others that Jesus will keep them.

 

Jesus has been with me during every hospital visit to care for others; yes, it has been working without a net, but isn’t that the way we are to live in Him? Trusting Him, always trusting Him, knowing that without Him we can do nothing, absolutely nothing (John 15:5)?

 

We can trust Jesus to teach us to be there for one another. We don’t need to give advice. We don’t need to make things better. We just need to be there.

 

Another neighbor once said to me, “Bob, you know a friend is someone who shows up, who just shows up.”

 

Yes, I think that is true. Jesus shows up, and we ought to show up…and for sure we are thankful for those who show up for us.

 

 

 

 

Pilgrims and Strangers

 A friend sent me these lyrics, Petra used to sing them she tells me. It seems to me that we all ought to sing them...and live them.

"Not of This World"

We are pilgrims in a strange land

We are so far from our homeland

With each passing day it seems so clear

This world will never want us here

We're not welcome in this world of wrong

We are foreigners who don't belong

We are strangers, we are aliens

We are not of this world

By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he left, not knowing where he was going. By faith he lived as a stranger in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise; for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God. By faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since she considered Him faithful who had promised. Therefore even from one man, and one who was as good as dead at that, there were born descendants who were just as the stars of heaven in number, and as the innumerable grains of sand along the seashore.

 

All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen and welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth. For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own. And indeed if they had been thinking of that country which they left, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them.

From Hebrews 11.