Socks

Next to the cosmic mystery about where socks lost in the washer go (a few years ago I tried to establish the fact that they are transported to Planet Sock, a planet that must be constantly repopulated by abductions from washers because none of the inhabitants have matching mates), there is the sock question, “Why do socks that seem fine in the morning decide to descend on one’s legs during the day until they arrive below your ankles?”

Is this an insidious tortuous design? Are these socks with a sick sense of humor? Why does this often occur during meetings in which any attempt to pull the socks up will likely be noticed? And why are we so gullible?

We inspect the sock drawer, considering what pair goes best with the day’s attire. Our eyes alight on a pair of socks that harmonize, but then our memory says, “Don’t you remember that the last time you wore these they played Chutes and Ladders, with the pair insisting on descending and you fighting against the pull of gravity? Don’t you recall how preoccupied and uncomfortable you were that day, in the midst of the people you were meeting with?”

But then we inspect the socks and they seem fine. Perhaps our memory is playing tricks on us. Perhaps it is another pair of socks that did the deed. We surely would have tossed the offending socks away after such a day of mockery and discomfort.

So in good faith we select the socks in question and wear them. All is fine for the first hour, the second hour, and then, as we sit in a room with thirty people, we have an uncomfortable feeling above our ankles…creep…creep…creep…down go the socks. We have been suckered once again, taken advantage of, in our effort to grant the socks a reprieve we have once again played the fool – oh cruel unforgiving world.

The best we can hope for is to catch the socks before they drop below our ankles, before they hide within our shoes – otherwise we will either be digging within our shoes to pull the socks up, or we will simply have to remove our shoes and adjust our socks – all the while providing entertainment for our fellow workers.

Are there mischievous socks lurking in your sock drawer?