I think it must have been when I was in seminary that I began serious reflection on Maurice. Yes, I was waiting at the “T” station to take the commuter train from our home in Beverly, MA into Boston and it was around Thanksgiving.
As I stood on the platform I thought how thankful I was that Maurice had given me a job and other opportunities. (You see, he opened a very large door for me in our industry that led to some fabulous opportunities, it was a door he didn’t need to open, but he did.)
I thought, “I need to send him a note telling him how thankful I am for him.” I didn’t send a note that year, nor the year after, nor the year after that. I think that every subsequent Thanksgiving season I’d count Maurice among my blessings and say to myself, “I need to send him a note,” but I never did.
A few years later we moved back into the metro area where Maurice lives and I thought, “I need to stop by and see him and tell him how thankful I am for him. I also need to share the grace of Jesus with him,” but I didn’t do it. No note, no visit.
Once, a few years ago, I had occasion to telephone Maurice about something and when he learned that I was pastoring he said, “Well Bob, there can’t be much money in that kind of thing.” A golden opportunity to talk to him about eternal things, but I thought, “I’ll go see him and then we can talk,” but I never did.
A few months ago I learned that Maurice came down with a disease that robs him of his ability to know people. That means he can’t read a note from me, it means he can’t carry on a conversation with me, it means it’s too late for me to tell him that I am thankful for him, it’s too late for me to share the grace of Christ with him…well…we’ll see about the latter, for hopefully I’ll get permission to see him whether he knows me or not – hopefully I’ll not put that off any longer – and I do believe that God speaks into the depths of our souls, whether our minds are working or not.
But how much better would it have been for me to have sent the note I never sent, to have had the conversation I never had.
Do I have any other Maurices in my life that I need to connect with before it’s too late?
Do you?
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Do you believe that perhaps you needn't be the "instrumental" one to speak? God can certain speak through others, circumstances, directly. He doesn't need us, but it sure is a thrill to be used by Him...
ReplyDeleteThat is a good question Aunt Sally :-)
ReplyDeleteIn this particular instance I had this prolonged sense that I should reach out to this man and I didn't do it. I could say, "Well, I did pray for him," but in this case I don't think prayer closes the loop of obedience. In fact, prayer likely made the sense I should reach out even more apparent.
Having witnessed my failure to reach out, I can also acknowledge the grace and sovereignty of our heavenly Father and know that this man's life was never ultimately in my hands - but that does not let me off the hook. And, of course, I cannot wish away Biblical passages that clearly make those who know the Gospel responsible for sharing the Gospel with others. I don't pretend to understand the mysteries of a passage like Ezekiel Chapter 33, but I can't deny their existence.
Nor can I deny the thrust of Romans Chapter 10 with Paul's question, "How shall they hear without a preacher (someone to tell them)?" While on the one hand I cannot say, "Circumstances never lead people to Christ," I must also say, "The New Testament does not give us an example of someone coming to God through circumstances." Even kind and gracious Cornelius needed a willing vessel named Peter to respond in obedience to God and verbalize the Gospel.
I don't know why God has chosen the verbalized Gospel to bring men and women to Him - but that is the only direct teaching we have in the Bible, the only straightforward Biblical understanding presented to us - so much so that we have the ideas of general revelation (creation, conscience, etc.) and special revelation - the Gospel.
It's a tension, isn't it? Egotistically I must not say, "It all depends on me." On the other hand, the lives of others do indeed depend on my obedience to Christ - and to our collective obedience. It is written of Christ, "By the obedience of one many were made righteous." May that be written of all who know Him.
All of what is said is true, as well as convicting. I appreciate your thorough response. "Circumstances" can only give us a sense of our need and prepare us for the Gospel. The certainty of predestination can quiet an anxious conscience. That is what I was trying to say.
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