Margaret (1)

Her photo is lying on the bookshelf, it needs to be placed in an album. She sits in an outdoor patio chair with thick cushions, an unfinished wood picket fence in the background, beyond the fence an open yard, beyond the open yard trees. Her left leg is thrown across her right leg, her right elbow resting on the chair arm, her head leaning ever so slightly so that it rests upon her right hand...she is smiling...her hair is short...is it growing back from the chemo.

Vickie and I sat in that backyard with her husband Frank some months after this photo was taken; we sat with Frank as Margaret and Frank’s three children played around us. I might have sat in the chair in the photo, the chair Margaret once sat in. Frank invited us to dinner a few months after Margaret’s memorial service, a big service in a little town with people from big cities; from D.C., Baltimore, New York, Paris, Geneva. Margaret had been an international investment banker for a European firm with branches across the globe.

I doubt she had ever heard of our little town when she was growing up. I doubt that she had heard of our town when she was travelling around the world. I imagine the first time she heard of our town was when she was dating Frank. “Where did you grow up?” she might have asked. Or maybe it was, “Where are you from?” Or perhaps Frank wove the name of our town into an early conversation as they were getting to know each other; if he did she would have asked, “Where is that?” Our little town is the kind of place you don’t know about unless you need to know about it. The kind of place that you can drive right through without stopping, or noticing, or even looking around - unless of course you happen to see a bear crossing the road - then you might both stop and look.

I remember when I received the first phone call from a member of the pastor-search committee, among other things Susan said to me, “Our town has bears. The mountains surrounding our town have bears and it is common to see them in and around town - I just thought you should know that.”

The town is so off the beaten path that when Federal troops were burning The Valley it may have been the only town they missed between Staunton and Winchester. It is said that for years after the Civil War that no one really knew whether the town was in Virginia or West Virginia, for it virtually straddles the border.

I doubt that Margaret anticipated spending the last eighteen months of her life in our town, Cat Mountain is hardly where a self-confident sophisticated international banker would plan to retire...or die. Why we didn’t even have a traffic light.

The pastor before me, Johnny Travis, was a prince of a man and a fine pastor; thoughtful and gentle. A year or two before I arrived a young mother in the parish was killed in an auto accident on I-81, leaving a three-year old boy and a two-month old daughter - I used to wonder how Johnny got through it with the family, living with them through the shock and sorrow and grief. I used to wonder how I would have handled that. I don’t know how this sounds, but the truth is that I was glad Johnny was the pastor and not me. Of course that was during my first few weeks at my first church and, as I was to discover, life and death wouldn’t wait for me, wouldn’t ask my permission anymore than death asked Johnny’s permission - being with folks in life and death soon became a way of life for me - a continuum that they didn’t teach us about in seminary. A doctor once told me that they didn’t teach med students about the continuum either.

Some folks spend all their lives in Cat Mountain or in one of the small surrounding towns. Some of the older men and women were born in Cat Mountain and they will die, as others before them, in Cat Mountain. Younger generations were born in Winchester or Harrisonburg and were brought home to Cat Mountain and never left. If you weren’t from Cat Mountain you weren’t likely to move to Cat Mountain...but if you were from Cat Mountain there was a good possibility that you would move away, unless you were going to farm, or raise cattle or sheep, or unless you didn’t mind a long commute, or unless maybe you had a moonshine still operating in one of the hollows.

I guess when Frank went off to George Washington University and then Johns Hopkins that he never thought he’d move back to Cat Mountain - he ran a research center at N.I.H. and he and Margaret were living in Kensington, MD when she received her diagnosis.

Sometimes folks end up where they always expected to be, like the folks who were born, lived and died in Cat Mountain. But then sometimes we end up where we had no idea we’d be, where we couldn’t even imagine. When I visit nursing homes I sometimes wonder if any of the men and women thought they’d be there...often alone, isolated; sometimes incapacitated.

I am reminded of a resident of an apartment community I used to manage in Silver Spring, MD - Mrs. Jackson. I don’t think she expected to live the final years of her life alone, isolated, with family within a thirty-minute drive who didn’t come to see her, didn’t call, didn’t care...to be continued

Same Voice - Different Number

I called my friend Earl last week. For the past few years when I’ve called him I’ve used my business cell phone; this time I used my personal cell phone. When I call Earl or when Earl calls me we don’t say, “Hi this is Bob” or “Hi this is Earl” because we know each other’s voice.

Let me admit that I don’t know everyone’s voice who calls me who thinks I know their voice. Sometimes I’ve got to play along until I figure it out, sometimes I have to ask. When I call people I usually tell them who it is even if I think they’ll know - might as well make things as easy as possible on us both.

Jesus says in John Chapter Ten that His sheep know His voice - there have been many times I’ve had to trust Him on that - for while I have no doubt that He knows my voice I am pretty sure that there are times I’ve missed His. So I say, “Jesus, please help me to know Your voice,” because by now I know that without His help it ain’t going to happen with me. With Jesus and me it’s kind of like my dog Lily and me. I’ll call her and call her and walk around the house looking for her and finally I’ll see her beneath some bushes that I’ve walked by two or three times - she heard me but she didn’t hear me, or she heard me but ignored me. I’m afraid I’m like that with Jesus...the good news is that He keeps calling me.

One day a few years ago our home phone rang and I answered it to hear a child’s voice saying, “Pastor Bob, our Girl Scout group is selling cookies, do you want some?” Naturally I said “Yes” and made a commitment for some boxes. When I got off the phone I said to Vickie, “If anyone asks us to buy cookies at church let’s go ahead and buy them; I’m not sure who I just committed to because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by asking who was calling.” Sometimes you just don’t recognize the voice.

As I was saying, I called my friend Earl.

“Hi” I said.

“Hi” he replied.

“How’re you doing?”

“Who is this?” he asked.

“You don’t know who this is?”

“No...who is this?”

“It’s Bob.”

“Oh, I didn’t recognize the number.”

Earl knows my voice but when he saw a number he didn’t recognize he didn’t know my voice because what he was thinking overshadowed what he was hearing.  

Sometimes our eyes deceive us.

I wonder how many times Jesus has called me and I’ve not heard Him because He’s called on a number I didn’t recognize? How many times has He appeared to me in ways that I wasn’t anticipating and I didn’t see Him or hear Him?

How many times have I not “seen” others when they’ve been right in front of me because they looked differently or spoke differently or acted differently from what is within my comfort zone?

When we assume God is going to communicate to us in certain ways, when we in effect say, “God, here is a phone to use when you call me, please only use this phone and its number when you call,” we just might miss Him.

I Will Give Thanks To You For…

“I will give thanks to you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:14

Psalm 139 is The Intimate Psalm in that it explores and celebrates how intimately God knows us, which is grounded in His intimate creation of us and His intimate purpose for us. The psalm reflects on this intimacy from the womb, “you  wove me in my mother’s womb”, to the vicissitudes of life, “If I ascend to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, behold you are there”. It culminates in a desire to know God intimately, realizing that just as God created us that only God can purify us and draw us to Himself, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.” Perhaps Paul expresses this desire to be intimate with God as God is intimate with us when he writes, “Then I shall know even as I am known.”

A foundation for a life of thanksgiving is the simple recognition that, “I exist, there are profound mysteries within me, ranging from the physiological to the emotional to the intellectual, to the desire of the will, of hope, of joy, of love, and of those things that have the potential to destroy myself and others. I did not create myself, and the complexity of ‘I’ is not accidental, I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

In Romans Chapter One Paul argues “that which is known about God” is evident within us and, “For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what He has made…” Later in Romans Paul will discuss the role of conscience in life, that baseline innate sense humanity has of right and wrong, good and evil.

While many of the Psalms and other Bible passages direct our attention to the wonders of Creation outside us, Psalm 139 invites us to view the wonders of Creation within us. Who understands our capacity for love and hate? Where does our sense of beauty come from? How can we do such sublime good one moment and engage in evil (if not in action then in thought) the next? How can we put others first at 11:00 AM and live narcissistically at 11:11 AM?

Something is amiss, we are not as we should be - but the One who created us is also the One who loves us and desires to redeem us and heal us and bring us into an intimate relationship with Himself through Jesus Christ.

Many of us move so fast through each day that we forget who we are and in doing so we forget God; we forget God and as a result forget who we are. Outside of the Kingdom of God and the Bible we are spoken to as though we are simply biological machines to be repaired when broken; we are “dysfunctional”, we have “breakdowns”, we are “resources”. Sadly we have come to think of ourselves in mechanical and functional terms.

Psalm 139 invites us to stop and to be quiet, to turn the electronics off, to turn the noise of life off, to silence the smartphone and put it in another room.

Let Psalm 139 help us to listen, and as we listen let us allow this psalm to help us to respond.

“O LORD, You have searched me and known me, You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways.”

I exist, you exist, and there are profound mysteries within us, mysteries designed by our Creator, some of these are fractured mysteries which He desires to redeem and in so doing restore us to health and wholeness. Let us stop and ponder, be quiet and listen, and respond in conversation with God - let us remember who God is and who we are. Let us be thankful.

“I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”

Thanksgiving - a Way of Life

I want to write about thanksgiving, but it is hard to get started, where to begin? I want to write that thanksgiving should be woven into the fabric of our lives, that the Christian should be known by his or her life of thankfulness - thankfulness to God and thankfulness for others.

Paul writes that when humanity turns from God and is unthankful that it descends in a downward spiral (Romans 1:21), this is true for humanity, this is true for the individual human. How often have I slipped into that black hole?

Paul not only writes that we should be thankful to God for His goodness, but he also writes that he is thankful to God for others (Romans 1:8; 1 Corinthians 1:4) - how often do I tell others that I am thankful for them?

What would our churches be like if people expressed thankfulness for one another to one another as a way of life? What would our workplaces be like? What would our schools be like? Our neighborhoods? Our families? Our marriages?

Consider that you may be the only person who expresses thankfulness to a retail employee or to a service representative who helps you via the phone or internet. You may be the only person who thanks a coworker or someone serving in your church. If you supervise people at work, do you thank them on a regular basis for what they do - do they know you are thankful for them?

How many marriages have we seen in which spouses fail to express thanksgiving for one another; how many marriages engage in constant criticism and then wonder why things are bad in the relationship?

Thanksgiving is a fundamental expression of a healthy life, for it recognizes that we have nothing that has not been given to us - no matter what our egos may tell us. We have achieved nothing that has not been provided to us, at the very least in seminal form. The breaths we take have been given to us, the beat of our hearts, the light by which we see.

Can it really be that we can live a day without giving thanks to our Creator? Can it be that we can live with a spouse and not give “thanks” for him or for her? How can it happen that we can work with others who contribute to our lives and not tell them that we are thankful for them?

Even in our most excruciating times and circumstances we can give thanks to the God who created us and loves us...for He has made us for eternity and He, Himself, has suffered for us in depths and dimensions that we cannot penetrate. Whatever the abyss of our sorrow, whatever the pain of our shattered soul, He has been there before us and beyond us and desires to walk with us through the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

Thanksgiving should be our way of life in Christ, we ought to be “always giving thanks for all things  in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father,” (Ephesians 5:20).

Am I living a life of thanksgiving? What am I taking for granted? Whom am I taking for granted? God? Others?

“Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, for His lovingkindness is everlasting.” Psalm 136:1.

The Security of Integrity

My devotional reading this morning included Proverbs Chapter 10. Verse 9 reads, “He who walks with integrity walks securely, but he who perverts his ways will become known.”

As media headlines remind us, things that are done in the deep past, as well as the present, can be revealed for all to see. Paul writes (1 Timothy 5:24 - 25), “Some men’s sins are clearly evident, preceding them to judgment, but those of some men follow later. Likewise, the good works of some are clearly evident, and those that are otherwise cannot be hidden.”

When we live with integrity we live in the security of a clear conscience. When we do wrong and confess to God and apologize to others and do our best to make things right we reinforce our security. I once worked for the owner of a firm that practiced apologizing, when he realized he was wrong he not only told the person he’d wronged, he told all associated with the wrong. This man developed a capacity for listening to others tell him the truth; he may not have always liked what he heard, and he may not have always agreed with it, but no one had to fear for his or her job.

Then there are “leaders” and organizations that promote a tacit understanding that there is a time and place for the truth and a time and place for “spin” - which is of course lying and twisting the truth. There are also cultures that promote a tacit understanding that those in authority need not adhere to the same ethical and moral standards expected of their employees. We see this in headlines today regarding the entertainment and political worlds, but we also see it in less glamorous business cultures. No employee is safe in such a corporate culture, for he or she never knows who is next to be taken advantage of, violated, or be expected to look the other way. There are corporate cultures where middle managers find themselves either functioning as a safe place for their employees or they buy into the narcissistic thinking and behavior of their executives and mimic it.

Living with integrity in the workplace not only provides security for the woman or man doing her or his best to live a thoughtful moral and ethical life, it can also provide security for the people around her or him. Employees need to know they are working in a safe environment for a safe leader, a leader who will not manipulate, violate, or take advantage of his position, a leader whose way of life is one of integrity; a leader who, when he makes mistakes, is quick to acknowledge them and apologize and make things right. They also need to know that they have a leader who thinks and behaves the same at 8:00 PM at a function hundreds of miles away from home as he does when home with his wife and family.

There is security in integrity, both for the person practicing integrity and for those around that person.

Election?

I am told there was an election yesterday. Being a student of history I know that we’ve had many bare-knuckle elections; ugliness is nothing new, vitriol has been with us as long as we’ve been on the planet. Here in Virginia we’ve been treated to statewide contests that rival anything found in a septic system - at least septic systems are underground and not broadcast over the airwaves and via cable; not sure why the EPA didn’t shut these election contests down and fine the candidates for polluting our environment - our air quality took a turn for the worse.

For the Christ-follower, our citizenship is in heaven (see Paul in Philippians). This is not lip-service, this is truth. There really is no salvation to be found on earth; not in big government, not in big business, not in small business, not even in the US Constitution - which I know is a pill for some of us to swallow.

The media talks of “culture wars” - but there is really only one culture war, and it is a conflict of kingdoms - the Kingdom of God and the kingdoms of this world. No matter how admirable elements of political thought, philosophy, and social concern may be - and we should expect elements to be admirable if we believe that we are created in the image of God - they eventually decay and fail through inconsistencies and the gravity of selfishness.

When elements of the professing church are seduced into alignment with political agendas, and especially political parties, they trade the wedding ring of Jesus Christ for the cheap costume jewelry of this world. We can only have one core identity. Political parties will whisper what we want to hear, but when we wake up in the morning we find ourselves alone.

Whether the political right or the political left, these twin grindstones will crush the identity of Christ out of those elements of the church that align themselves with them - for both represent the kingdoms of this world. There is no righteousness apart from God’s righteousness; and to argue that a nation has at any time been “righteous” is, for the Christian at least, to argue against the clear teaching of Scripture that we’ve all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. If there are no righteous individuals (see Romans Chapter 3), there are certainly no righteous groups of individuals, and if there are no righteous groups of individuals there are no righteous nations. Let us celebrate that which is good while not denying that which is evil.

As I understand his life, my 5th great-grandfather Patrick Henry came to realize, to some degree, how patriotism could be used as a cloak for national greed, selfishness, and dominance. Henry, who certainly stood in the first rank of Revolutionary patriots, came to see, from a Christian perspective, the danger of using patriotism as a trump card in political and national life. It appears that Henry came to see himself as a Christian first, a husband and a father second, and a patriot third. I think that made him a better patriot. (I will pick Henry back up in a future post).

As Daniel well understood (see Daniel Chapter Two), all of the kingdoms of the world are temporal - in the final analysis the only election that really matters is God’s. This is not to say that we ought not to be engaged in the political process, but it is to say that the follower of Jesus Christ ought to function as an agent of peace, reconciliation, righteousness, justice; and to always remember that we are here first and foremost as sons and daughters of the living God and that we must guard against adopting any other primary identity or calling.

Reflections on a Career (9)

Reflections on a Career (9)

This is my first Monday since retiring from D&F. It feels a bit strange. Last Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday could have been just taking a few days off, but today is for real - it’s a Monday and I’m staying home.

Below is a photo from the luncheon my team gave me, most of the folks were able to make it - I have been blessed to work with them.

I read in the news today that Sears Holdings is closing more Sears and KMart stores. I don’t think they realize that it is about the people - just ask customers. I don’t mean this harshly, but my experience with Sears and KMart the past fews years has been poor to the point that I don’t shop there; I’ve talked to others with the same experience. For years I patronized Sears, but then the service went downhill - it wasn’t like the old Sears. This is not the fault of the store employees, this is a failure of leadership.

If leadership doesn’t care why should the store employees care? And if they do care but do not receive encouragement...what is the effect likely to be?

A friend of mine recently shopped at a grocery store in Richmond and had a poor experience. Within days of her sending a letter corporate leadership had trainers on location, working with the store employees. This particular grocery chain has recently entered the Richmond market and they are known for customer service, my friend has patronized them in another state so she knows their level of service and she knew that her local experience was atypical.

This is not rocket science, as they say, treat people like you’re glad to see them and make them want to come back and see you. In the apartment business people chose a particular community because they trust the people in the office; and they remain in the community for the same reason. Sure there can be economic and other considerations, but when those are accounted for - people decide where they are going to rent an apartment because they trust the staff.

Customers want attention, employees want attention, students want attention, parishioners want attention - plants need water and people need the water of care and attention and recognition. You don’t have to be a biologist or arborist to care for plants, you just need some common sense and learn to give them appropriate attention.

Leadership requires paying attention to people and helping those people pay attention to other people and so forth. I think we see this attention to people in Jesus, and we see it in the core group that followed Him. We see it in the Apostle Paul - just read his letters...he had people around him and he paid attention to those people...and in turn they paid attention to people.

If I interact with employees of a business who don’t pay attention to customers I am pretty safe in thinking that their managers and leaders don’t pay attention to them. Care is contagious - just try it; when it infects a group of people it is exciting and fun and the potential is limitless.

I had fun at the luncheon. And yes, I just about cried...sure came close to it!

Reflections on a Career (8)

Yesterday was my last day at work with D&F. It seems only like yesterday that I gave my 60-day notice. Of course, early this year I let my boss know that I would likely be leaving in 2017; however, there were a couple of projects I wanted to see through to completion. As it turned out one of the projects is still hanging, but that was beyond my control. In January 2016 I told my boss that my goal over the next approximately 24 months was to do all I could to help my colleagues and subordinates for their future success. Twenty-four months ago seems like last week now.

I participate in a men’s Tuesday-morning fellowship and yesterday it was a good thing I did or I’m not certain when I would have arrived at the office. I have had a pretty strict morning routine, but yesterday morning it was hard to leave our home. I realized it at the time, it seemed that I was finding last-minute things to do before leaving - empty the trash, bring dog food up from the basement, make sure the coffee was ready for Vickie; one thing after another. Finally I realized that if I didn’t leave for the men’s group that I would be late - not a good thing when you are the facilitator.

When I arrived at the office I set about to finish my task list; scrub my cell phone, scrub my computer and transfer files to the server, turn in my office key and security fob. Lucy said, “Bob, can’t you wait to give me your key and fob later today?” But no, I needed to get it all done.

It was like a weight was on me, an emotional weight - I didn’t know my last day would be so hard. It was part of a string of emotional days; last Thursday my team put together a luncheon that surprised and overwhelmed me. Monday our regional office hosted a luncheon and surprised me - I saw some friends that I haven’t seen in quite a while, and I was quite pleased when some folks from our Newport News office made the trip; just as I was pleased when some special folks from Newport News and Williamsburg came up last Thursday.

Yesterday morning two of my managers called me. I thought, “Oh my, I hope I don’t get any more of these calls because I don’t know that I can handle them.” Of course I look forward to keeping in touch with my wonderful team members on a personal basis; I have been immeasurably blessed by them.

Everyone has been so kind to Vickie throughout this time; kind and generous to us. I’m glad I’ve been able to share this with my wife; I’m glad she has gotten to know my wonderful group of managers and many of their teams. I don’t dare mention names as I recount these past couple of weeks lest I inadvertently omit someone.

Today feels like Saturday and perhaps tomorrow will feel like Sunday. What does our kind heavenly Father have for our future? Whatever it is I hope we are faithful to Him and others; I hope we are a blessing to others.

Well...probably more later...just had to write something.