Pondering Proverbs - Discipline (10)

 

“A fool rejects [despises] his father’s discipline, but he who regards reproof is sensible.” Proverbs 15:5.

 

Proverbs Chapter 15 gives us five verses (5, 10, 12, 31, 32) that directly speak of discipline, and a concluding verse that informs them all. While at first glance the book of Proverbs may seem like a random compilation of sayings (especially chapters 10 – 29), there are in fact patterns and clusters of associated subject matter that speak to us as we immerse ourselves in the book. This is like visiting a favorite park or walking a favorite trail over and over again, each walk and each visit can reveal something new, something we hadn’t noticed before. 

When visiting national parks, such as Yellowstone, guidebooks are quite helpful, but they are no substitute (nor are they meant to be) for actually experiencing the wonders of the park – wonders which continue to speak and delight even years after one’s visit. In fact, a good guidebook entices and prepares one for a visit and can help during the visit – they are meant to first get us to the park and then help us experience the park – they are not meant as a substitute for the experience.

 

There are wonders in Proverbs for us to experience, dimensions of relationship with our Father and Lord Jesus; individual verses in Proverbs can speak to us, just as a musical instrument can speak to us, but let us not be content to just hear one instrument when there is an orchestra playing symphonies composed by the Holy Spirit.

 

“A fool rejects his father’s discipline…” There is a lot about fools in Proverbs (see for example 26:1 – 11), and here we have another characteristic of a fool, he rejects his father’s discipline.

 

What about those of us who have not had fathers who cared enough to wisely discipline us? What about those of us who had fathers who ignored us, were harsh with us, or who otherwise were anything but wise and loving to us? What about those of us whose fathers abandoned them, or who never knew their fathers? There can be a lot of pain in the human experience and even when the pain is healed…if it is ever healed…we have scar tissue…I’m not sure that the scar tissue ever goes away, maybe with some folks it does, but I’m not sure about that.

 

Thankfully we have our heavenly Father, who loves us and cares for us and who desires to draw us ever closer to Himself – in Christ we are His sons and daughters and His Spirit lives within us, so that we cry out, “Abba! Daddy! Papa! Father!” (Romans 8:14 – 17; Galatians 4:6). Our heavenly Father is not a distant parent, He is concerned about every facet of our lives and He knows every fiber of our being (Psalm 139). So much of Jesus’ teaching was to reveal to us the love and care of our Father and how valuable we are to Him, to reassure us of the love of God, that we can trust our heavenly Father without reservation. (Matthew 6:25 – 34; 7:7 – 11).

 

We also have the Family of God, the Church, the Body of Christ, and within this community we can seek out godly men and women to be our fathers and mothers in the faith. Furthermore, as we mature in Christ, we can also learn to be older brothers and fathers (and older sisters and mothers) to younger people. And may I say that we are never too old for meaningful relationships...never.

 

It is foolishness the way some churches and para-church ministries segregate generations, for sure there are times it is valuable to be around folks of our own generation, but to have that as our default social structure is unnatural and is, I think, peculiar to our North American culture. The Body of Christ ought not to be dismembered, we have so much to share with one another across generational lines – indeed, across all lines – after all, we are to be one in Christ, members of one another.

 

There are grandparents who need grandchildren, and grandchildren who need grandparents, and younger men who need older men and older men who need younger men, and mothers who need daughters and daughters who need mothers. There are also younger couples who need older couples and older couples who need younger couples.

 

Within the Body of Christ there are those younger men who despise the instruction and discipline of fathers, but there are those who are sensible and listen to what older men have to say. This is to say that we can take what the Bible teaches us about family relationships and incorporate it into the koinonia of the Church – this is the way it ought to be in our congregations, but of course it is rare, relationships are rare…we may have lots of programs, but we tend to have few heartfelt relationships in the fabric of our lives.

 

It takes work to be a father, or a son, or a mother, or a daughter – whether in a natural family or in God’s family – easier to sit in a pew or in a class and then call it a day and come back next week. Easier to answer a few questions in a study guide than invest ourselves in one another. It is easier to call one another sister or brother than to be a brother or sister.

 

Do we love one another enough to acknowledge that we are not always going to get it right, but we still want to keep trying? Our instruction and discipline are not always going to hit the mark, the center of the bullseye – sometimes they may miss the entire target. The way we receive correction and instruction may not always be the best, but will we trust Christ and others so that we will come back and try it again, work at it some more?

 

As Proverbs 14:4 points out, “Where no oxen are, the stall is clean, but much increase comes by the strength of the ox.” If we are going to be fruitful in our relationships we will always have some mess to clean up – better that we acknowledge this up front and then help one another with the clean-up. Give me a congregation with squeaky clean stalls and I’ll give you a congregation with no meaningful relationships.

 

We should no more be scandalized by a mess in relationships than a farmer should be scandalized by poop in a stall – such is life…let us trust Christ to help us work through these things in His mercy and grace and forbearance…and with a smile and humor! We can grow a lot with the right fertilizer!