Yellow Fly Paper

My anxiety was relieved this morning when I found that they still manufacture fly paper ribbons, and not just any fly paper ribbons, but yellow fly paper ribbons. I write “manufacture” when for all I know they are selling from ancient stock. I wonder how long fly paper lasts in the box before it goes bad? I wonder if it has a “Best used by” date?

You see it occurred to me that perhaps no one has written recently about yellow fly paper. When is the last time you read about yellow fly paper ribbons? When is the last time you meditated on the subject? When is the last time you gave (or received) yellow fly paper as a gift?

There is something homey about yellow fly paper, something nostalgic, something…well…something about a time before houses were built so tightly that they poison their inhabitants with toxic interior air. A house that breathes just enough to let a fly inside, now that’s a house one can live in.

Yellow fly paper streaming across the kitchen ceiling like crape paper at a party. The difference is that fly paper ribbons serve two purposes, they evoke a festive atmosphere and they catch flies.

I don’t know if this is true or not, but I’m told by reliable sources that after the movie, The Fly, was released that sales of fly paper ribbons increased eight-fold. Then there was the time that a manufacturer of fly paper released one million flies with little tags on their wings; if you captured one of the flies with the manufacturer’s fly paper you received a year’s worth of fly paper and disinfectant soap – plus a photo book of Disneyland autographed by Mickey Mouse.

Then there was the advertising campaign in which Kermit the Frog hawked another brand of fly paper, “If you can’t get them live, then get them with Honeysuckle Fly Paper – they taste soooo good. Also available in 30 other flavors for the frog with discriminating taste.”

We didn’t have fly paper in our home, but Uncle Jake and Aunt Freda had it in their home out in Loudoun County, VA. I wonder how many homes in Loudoun County have fly paper today? I wonder if builders in Loudoun County include fly paper in the amenity package of their homes? I wonder if they offer designer fly paper? Come to think of it, why is it that Southern Living doesn’t run an article on fly paper? Or what about Martha Stewart coming out with a line of decorative and scented fly paper? What about a fly paper of the month club in which you receive a new color and scent every month?

To be continued….stick with it….