I don’t know that I’ve ever felt
pressure to say anything during a hospital visit. I don’t go to hospitals to
say things to people; I go to hospitals to be with people. Oh, I also go to
hospitals to pray with people. To listen to people, to be with people, to pray
with people – that’s what I do in hospitals.
People in my parishes have had
the idea that if they visit someone that they have to have answers – where did
that idea come from? It’s a debilitating thought because it stops people from
being with people; it hinders people from being with people who need people to
be with them. This is exacerbated by the business model of clergy and churches
in that pastors are first expected to operate a successful church, not to care for
their people. Just as salespeople are measured by their sales numbers, so
pastors are measured by how many people are in the pews and how much they’re
giving – how did we come to accept that idea?
I like to take people with me on
visits because I want them to see how to be with people; listen, then pray –
pretty basic. We think we have to “do” something when we’re with people; we
think we have to make things happen – that’s nonsense. When we think we have to
“do” something we usually end up doing the wrong thing and making things worse
– people in pain, people in uncertainty, people facing the unknown, first need
us to be with them; let God do the work, we just need to be available. Oh, and
did I mention that we should pray with people?
Sean was dozing when I walked
into his room, so I just stood for a minute or two until he sensed someone there.
“Hi Sean, I’m Bob Withers, John’s
pastor. He told me you were here so I thought I’d come see how you’re doing.”
“I’m doing better today. When
they brought me in here a couple days ago I’d lost about 25 pounds and was weak
as a fawn. I guess I’m still not that great but I’m better than I was.”
Sean and I talked for a while. I
asked him about his family and business and how long he’d been sick. Nurses and
aides and cafeteria people moved in and out of the room as they tend to do
during hospital visits. I excused myself for a few minute when an aide helped
Sean with the bedpan drill. After 20 minutes or so I knew it was time to go and
that meant that it was time to pray.
“Sean, I’d like to pray with you
– is that okay?”
“Sure.” (What did you expect him to say?)
I placed my hand on Sean’s
shoulder and prayed for his family, his health, his healing, his business, and
that our heavenly Father would draw Sean and his family close to Him, that they
would know the incredible love and care of Jesus Christ.
Listen, ask questions if you need
to in order to have things to listen to, be with people, pray with people;
those are the basics. Pretty simple, yet we don’t do them enough.
Right after I left Sean picked up
the phone and called John…
*The names and some details have been changed for various protections,
but no change has been material to the actual story.
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