Margaret (6)

I need not have wondered whether Margaret would be at the next ALPHA gathering, or the next, or the next, for despite her father-in-law’s attitude toward the Gospel Margaret was her own person and thanks to her neighbors, Shirley and Ralph, she was able to be at every ALPHA evening and attend our weekend retreat.

Margaret injected a special joy into our ALPHA dinners, telling funny stories about her family and herself. Whichever table she sat at in our church dining hall was the group whose laughter filled the room with energy - the rest of us wanted to be at Margaret’s table. Since Vickie often sat with Margaret I would ask her after the evening was over, “What was so funny?” and she’d tell me what Margaret had shared to get her group laughing until they cried.

As I mentioned before, after dinner and the night’s presentation, when we split into small groups, Margaret was focused on the needs of others...listening, asking questions, caring. As we explored ALPHA’s subject matter her questions about God and Jesus and the Bible were thoughtful - she was not “buying” anything she heard without carefully considering the evidence.

While Margaret never focused on herself, when asked how she was doing she would give us the latest on her cancer, and as the weeks passed we could see her growing weaker and weaker...yet every week she came to ALPHA. Occasionally she and Frank and the kids came to church, but it was difficult for her and Frank to get the children ready on Sunday mornings.

The week after my first visit I stopped by her home again, thus beginning a pattern of weekly visits, some longer, some shorter, depending on how Margaret was feeling. Frank was often home, working remotely, and Fran, Frank’s mom was usually there - when Fran wasn’t there Frank Sr. would greet me; he was always polite and no mention was made of our conversation in Winchester.

The first few ALPHA evenings centered around the following topics: Christianity: Boring, Untrue, and Irrelevant?; Who Is Jesus?; Why Did Jesus Die?; How Can I Be Sure of My Faith?; Why and How Should I Read the Bible?; Why and How Do I Pray?

A couple of days after we explored “Why and How Do I Pray?” I was visiting Margaret when she said, “Bob, I’ve come to know Jesus. I’m sitting with Him on the loveseat. I feel like He has been drawing me to Himself ever since I started ALPHA. I’ve asked Him to show Himself to me and He has. I’ve asked Him to forgive my sins and He has. I don’t want to die and leave Frank and my children, I really don’t want to die; but if I do die I know that I’ll be with Jesus...but I really don’t want to die.”

As I listened to Margaret I thought of my own mother who died when I was 17 years old; my brother Bill was 15, and my brother Jim was 12 - she left three children and it was likely that Margaret was going to leave three children (while I had not given up hope for healing - I had to face the situation as it was). I thought of other young mothers I’d known who left life all too early. I have wondered what my life might have been like if my mom had lived...perhaps I would have been more focused and stable in my early adult years, I would like to think so. I wonder what it would have been like for Mom to have known her grandchildren. I think of things I would like to talk to her about. I know so little about my mother’s childhood and her college years, how she met my father - actually I know next to nothing - I was too self-centered when she was alive to care about anyone but myself.

I listen to Margaret, and as I listen I silently pray for her and her family. My role is to be with them through this season of life; to listen, to pray, to share God’s love and grace, to hopefully help them come into a deep relationship with Jesus Christ. If we’re not accidents looking for a place to happen, if we aren’t the products of a cosmic roll of the dice, then this life is a prelude to beyond this life, and because of that this life matters - how we live matters, whether or not we are living in the life of God in Christ matters, the pathway we are on matters, knowing Jesus matters.

We are all going to die; some of us sooner and some of us later - the death rate on the planet is 100%. This isn’t morbid, this is common sense, it is reality. I just read of a study that found that people who had recently visited a cemetery were more likely to treat other people better than they usually do. There is value in realizing that we are all mortal, we can all be crushed by a car, die from pneumonia, or be killed in a freak accident - longevity is not guaranteed. We have a friend who, the Lord willing, will turn 100 years old in a couple of months; he is still active, tilling his garden, riding on the back of a jet ski, his mind is still agile - but he won’t live forever - this isn’t morbid, it’s the way it is because our DNA has been polluted by sin and death - we weren’t designed to die, we were designed to live. In Christ we have the promise and certainty of eternal life, of restoration to our eternal original destiny in God.

Why don’t people talk about the most important thing in life, why don’t we talk about God and life and death? We talk about graduating from school, about our jobs, our families, even politics, but we don’t talk about eternal matters. We are bombarded about planning for retirement and long-term care insurance; we have anxiety over Social Security...why aren’t we concerned about dying? Do we think that if we close our eyes it won’t happen?

Death for some people will be a graduation into the Kingdom of God and the Presence of Jesus Christ; for others death will be…