Cletus and the Pole Barn

Cousin Cletus called me yesterday.

“Bob, I’ve got a problem.”

“Hey Cletus, how y’doing?”

“Bob, I’ve got a problem. I went to pull my truck out of the pole barn and drive it up to the house while the snow was melting. Well, about halfway up the hill I started to slip and slide and zigged and zagged. So I backed her down the hill and gave it another try but still couldn’t make it.

“So I decided that I’d back it into the pole barn, that way when the snow and ice melted a bit more I could pull it right out and try it again. But when I was backing into the barn I knocked one of the poles out and the roof started coming down.

“Fortunately I had 10-foot step ladder setup in that end of the barn and the roof caught on that just before the roof hit the truck cab. After I caught my breath and said a prayer I slid over to the passenger’s side and slowly opened the door and got out of the truck.

“Well, I could see that the step ladder might not hold that corner of the roof for very long, it was kind of going teeter-totter, so I ran into the tool shed and grabbed a rope. I tied one end of the rope through a rafter in the corner of the roof, and then I got another step ladder and set it up next to that big maple tree not far from that corner of the pole barn, I figured I’d take the other end of the rope and tie it to one of the big branches high up in the tree and that that should hold the roof until I could figure out something else.

“Anyway, the step ladder didn’t quite get me to where I wanted to go, I was a few feet shy of the big branch. So I grabbed hold of a lower branch and got up on that, just above the ladder. Then I got onto one more branch, and finally I was able to get the rope around the big branch and tie it tight.

I said, “Well that’s great. I’m glad it worked out for you Cletus. How are you going to repair the roof?”

“Well Bob, that ain’t my immediate concern. Because you see when I was climbing back down the tree to get to the ladder…when I put my foot on the ladder to transfer my weight to it, the ladder tipped over. The only good news is that my cell phone was in my pocket so I called you for help. Can you come over here and put this ladder back up so I can get down? The wife and kids are all out of town today and I could sure use some help.”

“Sorry Cletus, I’d love to help, but I’m out of town today too. Tell you what, I’ll call you in the morning and if you’re still up in the tree I’ll bring breakfast by and give you a hand.”